Politics

So here's your cliche start to any good political rant "I'm not big into politics but..." Or "I never say anything about so and so but.." 

Here is my big 'ol fat 'BUT' for you... 

Donald Trump. Republican nominee for President of the United States of

America. Never have I ever had such a strong opinion about anyone in my life. 

As most any of you know, last week released the first of now many allegations  of Trumps sexual indiscretions both verbal and physical. That article. That clip. It struck a chord with me. I have learned a lot about myself in these 25 years on earth. One of them is this: I am very good at down playing deeply felt and highly reactive emotions I have towards something controversial. I am a people pleaser. I don't want to cause conflict if there isn't any and want everyone to find a happy balance. A grand optimist in all outcomes. So as it turns out, I had a very deep and highly reactive response to hearing Donald Trump say he "could do anything" and "grab them by the p****." Let me tell you just how deep those words hurt. As a woman, who has been "grabbed by the p****" and demoralized as to nothing more than a play thing, I am appalled. I am appalled that this is the IMAGE we are giving to our daughters and sons as someone who stands by what the Republican represents. This is the man who will not just "be in office 4 years til we come up with something better." This man will be sworn into the history of our country as a voice, a face and a mark maker for so many years to come. 

I posted the article about the leaked video of Trump's "locker room talk" with a plea to all my Facebook friends to not vote for him. Of course, it spiked many unwanted comments about voting and the "politics" of it. What I didn't expect was a text from a longtime friend. She said in light of my FB post, she felt it on her heart to tell me she was going to vote for Trump. I was taken aback but wasn't super surprised she was choosing the Republican Party. So fast forward a week later and here I lie in bed at 3 in the morning, unable to shake off why that text was bothering me so much. I ended up texting her back and explaining why I couldn't vote for Trump and why my plea was so adamant. But then after reading it, I started to cry. I was suddenly overcome by the helplessness of our broken world. We, as just people, are broken. We as an American society are broken. And it's not going to be fixed by a great president, or an agreeable Congress or religion or every day being free pie day.(although I support that.) We have to start in our homes. In our neighborhoods and in our children. Gone are the days without Internet and not having access to the world. We can't protect them and their innocence like our parents did with us. We can only educate them. Teach them the difference between words and actions and how both are harmful and have weight. Teach them respect and conviction to take a stand. Teach them to be passionate but to do no harm. Teach them to love. Because if nothing else, simply loving a broken person can change the trajectory of their life and all the lives they interact with. It is impossible for us as finite humans to change the heart of another person. But we can love them well. Despite all their crap. Sadly, all of that doesn't change the fact that we still have to vote on Nov.4th... So when it comes to that, I can't tell you what to do. 

So in conclusion to my political rant... Please love well. Be better. Because I truly believe in goodness. It's there. Let's dig deeper, my friends. 

Cheers! 

Observations

Some observations I have about life and my day so far. 

*Nanny life... It isn't easy. It's compared to being a parent often, but I would not consider it remotely close. Being a nanny isn't better or worse, it's just different. Like any interaction with a human, you have a relationship with the kids you take care of. It's not like a mommy or daddy relationship. It's unique to itself. I spend give or take 50hours a weeks it's these kiddos. They are who I interact with the most every day. They re my friends, my comedic relief, my dose of reality, my depths of despair and always my questionable levels of insanity. I think about them when they re not around. I always pray that they behave well for their parents at night. That they will follow through on all the hard work we put in every day. It's a beautiful picture to paint, but being a nanny is hard. It's my life but it's also my job. My job is based around their levels of education and are they meeting required milestones. My life is showing them to see life through many scopes, teaching them to think outside of themselves and to be something bigger. Giving them the freedom of independence and cultivating kindness. I want them to be great and confident and fearless. You might be thinking, 'sounds like all the things a parent would want for their kid too. Aren't you treating them like a parent?' No. I don't want all these things for them because I feel like they are my kids, but because they are kids. My desire for my nanny kids isn't just for them. ALL kids deserve to have those things. As a care giver, I'm not just raising  kids, I'm raising the future of our society. Not just bc I'm a nanny...but because I am an adult. I felt the weight of this responsibility lately. That this is more than just a job, it's life. And it isn't just my life, it's all of ours. We all have this responsibility to kids. It's hard because I constantly forget. I go home and I get caught up in my life and my struggles and I forget that when I go through tough times in life, they do too. When I am stressed and tired from not sleeping and spend a day with them constantly frustrated and impatient, I put strain on our relationship. Teaching them to trust me is a harder task than I ever imagined. Between their parents and myself, We are the first experience they will ever have in trusting someone fully. You can see that in all adult lives. People's stories matter because we are actual products of how we were raised. We, as a adults. get to choose to be refined or remain as we are. When you have a relationship with a little one, they love better than all of us. When I'm sad because of things in my personal life, they pick up on it and I get more hugs and more kisses that day without even asking. When I have to apologize for getting upset with them for unwarranted reasons, they are so quick to forgive and give me grace. Maybe we as adults need to continue to learn from the ones we are teaching. I know I do. Ever day. Because relationships grow us. Constantly. There is weight to being a person! And I feel like it's time we all start feeling it.* Clearly I'm in tune with my emotions, I cry over anything and everything lately. (🐶, Last night it was the New Girl finale) I think I finally realized I'm allowed to feel emotions as an adult because sometimes I am sad. And I am angry and I am oh so happy. And sometimes I want to scream. My kids taught me that it's ok to feel those things. Zander saw me sad one day and told me it was ok to cry if I was hurt and he d get me a bandaid. Emotions are real and valid. A six year old taught me that.again. 

So here I am, sitting in beautiful green grass observing my two nanny kiddos play in the sand from a distance. I know they will come calling when they can't figure out a problem or when they need a booboo kissed. They trust me to be sitting here. But what I realized today is that I trust them to come to me as well. Because that's what a real relationship is. 

*Cheers* 

The Simple Things

Goodness, it seems like the longest days always have the best sunrise the next morning. As I made my coffee this morning, bracing for long day number two, spunky Handsome Man(2) climbed up on the counter for a drink of water. Now to be honest, he is probably thee messiest toddler I have ever taken care of. The kid has no gauge for neat and tidy. None. So naturally, one simple glass of water typically ends with all but one sip all over the floor, the dog or himself. This has led to many daily conversations of me repeating "No messes, Buddy. No mess." 

You see where this is going yet? 

So as I give him his glass of water, he spots two more on the counter and makes his way over to them. And so begins the game of pouring water from one cup to the other until all the water is no longer anywhere in the cups. I just kind of sigh and say, "Buddy.." He immediately turns to me and flashes his cheesiest grin and says "No mess, Gwace! No mess!!" It was perfect. I tear off a paper towel and hand it to him, telling him he needs to clean up after himself when he is done. As I settle in with my coffee, I just watch him. It was one of those times when you think of how much more kids enjoy the box their toy came in than the toy itself. It really is the simple things. The little things. 

These thoughts took its natural turn and down a rabbit hole... You all know how I am. So here it is. Children all over the world don't even have the luxury of cups let alone water to just play in or sadly, drink. Yet those same children still learn and grow. Their brains don't stop growing because they don't have tools to develop. They naturally find or create what they need to thrive. Handsome Man has all the learning tools he could want at his finger tips yet for him, he wanted to displace water. And that is awesome. I guess there is no depth here other than an observation and an encouragement. As adults, I feel like we get SO caught up in our jobs, making ends meet, our friends, our workouts and our hobbies that we forget. I know I do. I forget how significant and incredible the simple things are. In a world that waits on pins and needles for a lottery winner, take a chance to look at some of your little things. I can promise you if you look long enough, you ll probably find you hit jackpot already. Today, mine is now soaked and sucking water from a sopping paper towel. :) 

Cheers, friends!