Memories

Whenever I pull up my blog to write a post, I am always amused to read my title "These Are A few of My Favorite Things." It reminds me to try and write of something positive instead of going on a rant. It reminds me to take a breath and evaluate before jumping in because the purpose is to write of my favorite things. So on this day, one of my favorite things are memories. Memories cover the full range of emotions of the human spectrum. Memories allow us to recall history and instill new traditions. Memories serve as lessons, reminders and encouragement. Sometimes even as inspiration or nostalgia. Memories are great. For some of us, memories are all we have left of loved ones who have passed away or lost in tragedy. Today in particular, I love memories for the latter reason. 11 years. Whoa. Last year at the decade mark, I was too busy to really even let it sink in that an entire decade, an amount of time referencing certain eras, had passed since my brother died. This year I honestly thought would just come and go. I would think back to that day so long ago when I had time and that d be it. Ha. Not so much. I used to think I could feel only two emotions, pain and indifference. If anyone has ever lost someone close to them and hasn't realized this yet,(it took me 10 years, so no worries!!) please hear me. There is more to it! You get to feel so much more. That's the glory of healing! Being in Omaha this past year has made me realize this. I automatically thought being here and driving by the hospital where we were told he was going to die was going to be painful. Remembering the nights spent in the Ronald McDonald House, not knowing what would happen next. Living just around the corner in the Old Market from his favorite restaurant. I just figured it'd all fit into the pain zone of my two part emotion scale. The memories would be painful and remind me he died. What surprised me was quite the opposite. I got new memories. Ones I had forgotten. Deja vu moments of driving in a certain area of Omaha and feeling the warm rush of "I have been here before.." And they all were with my brother. What I thought would bring me more pain ended up giving me more than I would have ever had if I had not ever come to Omaha. Memories are all I have of my big brother and after such a long time, they begin to fade. I have been blessed with new memories this past year and they have been beautiful. So what I found being in Omaha isn't that this is where we found out he was going to die, but how he has continued to live in my mind. Even after 11 years. Praise be to God for showing me such mercy. So any of you who have limited yourself to feel or not feel when it comes to memories, free yourself and maybe.. Just maybe you will be surprised. God works good through all things. Have a blessed Friday, my friends. Hug someone you love today. Call up someone you ve been in a fight with. Make sure those you love know it. Cheers! 

What are the chances of all my siblings, there happen to be a picture of Luke holding me as a baby?